Blog
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Help Them Lift It and the Muscle Never Comes
Your teenager is struggling and you cannot just watch. But stepping in keeps them from building their own strength, and love pushed on them feels like an intrusion.
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They Were All Nice People. Nobody Starts Out Wanting to Kill.
We were all wounded, yet only some turn on others. Between a nice man and violence stand a wound of a certain size, anger nobody taught him to handle, and one hard day.
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You Were Not Asked to Swap Your Mother for God
As a small child, your parent may have felt like a god to you. Here is why, and how loving yourself leads to the deepest place in you, the place that parent filled.
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Being Split Isn’t the Problem. Losing Touch Between the Parts Is.
When you're frightened you tell yourself, 'It's alright,' and a part of you listens. Being divided like this is normal; the trouble starts when the parts lose touch.
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It Was Only Today, and You Told Them It Was for Life
Too tired to play, you tell your child to play alone, and your heart only gets heavier. Saying “not today” is self-love; saying “never again” hurts you both.
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Fail to Love Yourself and It Goes Straight to Abuse. There Is No Middle Ground.
You lie awake regretting, or keep saying, “I’ve tried. It doesn’t work.” This article explains how not loving yourself becomes self-abuse, and the four forms it takes.
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No One Hit You, So You Thought It Wasn’t Abuse
No one hit you; your mother just never paid you any attention, so you say you were not abused. Here is why that neglect is abuse, and why ignoring yourself is too.
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I’ll Do This for You, So You Do This for Me
Someone does you a favour and you walk away sour without knowing why. Help that waits for a return carries a debt you never agreed to, and kindness turns to control.
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Not Completely Released. Just Soothed Again.
A neutral question from your partner sounds like criticism. That is the hurt child inside you reacting, and when the feeling returns, you just soothe the child again.
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Say It and You Don’t Do It
Even when you are told you can say anything, the violent thoughts in your head stay unsaid. Saying them to someone who listens is what keeps you from acting on them.