Blog
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As Long as I Hate Them, I Don’t Have to Be Sad
A name comes up and your chest tightens, yet you cannot say what the person did to you. The dislike may be keeping you from grieving what you never got.
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They Really Did Become the Person I Was Afraid Of
You check the wallet, ask again, go silent for days, and their answers get shorter. Pressure from an older fear helps create the very secrecy you set out to prevent.
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The Conversation You Only Had in Your Head
A short message arrives, and you decide what it meant and what they would say, without asking. Here is why the mind guesses instead, and what that costs you.
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Someone Praised You and It Didn’t Land
Four people praise your presentation, one says the middle was confusing, and all evening you think about the middle. Here is why praise slips away and criticism stays.
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You Never Say No and the Child Is More Anxious
You back down when your child’s face falls, yet the clinging and testing grow. Answers that shift with your day leave a child reading your face, not learning a rule.
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Everything Checks Out and You Still Feel Nothing
The sensible match leaves you cold, yet someone you know is trouble puts you at ease. That ease was learned in your earliest relationships, and we call it attraction.
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Crying at the Television
Some people cry at small things, at other people’s sadness, at the same kind of TV scene every time. The tears come from a loss of their own that was never mourned.
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All I Could Talk About Was Last Night’s Episode
The TV goes on when you get home and stays on until you sleep. It spares you feeling lonely or afraid, but costs you the practice that makes being with people easier.
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You Won the Argument and You’re No Happier for It
You won the argument, yet you feel no better. It was a fight over who ranks higher, and that way of fighting is learned when a child's no keeps being overridden.
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The Child Who Was No Trouble at All
She waited until the adults were finished. She never had to be told twice. Nobody asked why a small child was watching the grown-ups so closely.