Blog
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Snap Judgments: Why You Decide Before They Speak
A few sentences into meeting someone new, before you know their name, you have already decided whether you like them. Here is why that verdict comes from your own past.
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What Did I Do to Deserve This? Punishments End. This Doesn’t.
You keep asking what you did to deserve these parents or this marriage. A punishment would have a set price and an end, and what you live with has neither.
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“That’s Just Me”: When Looking Back Turns Into Self-Attack
You go back over your day and end up feeling smaller. Looking back turns into self-attack the moment a word like “selfish” gets added to what you simply wanted.
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I Get So Angry I Want to Break Everything, Including Me
You get so angry you want to smash everything, yourself included, and then the other person starts to look like the one attacking you. Here is why that happens.
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Living With Someone Who Has No Boundaries
You ask them to knock, and the door opens anyway. Here is why someone who can't tell where they end and you begin keeps crossing your line, and why it wears you out.
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Nobody Calls the Lion Evil: Where Your Drive Comes From
You press anger down the moment it rises, then find you can’t say no or get anything started. The force behind your anger is the same one that gets a life moving.
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The Safe You Don’t Know You Own
You keep replaying an old regret and telling yourself you never learn. Here is why: you did learn something from it, but you have never noticed what it was.
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Daydreaming for Hours: In My Head, I Was King
You sit down for one small task, and hours later you are still lost in a daydream where you are strong. Here is why a hurt child learns to go there, and what it costs.
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Chiron’s Wound: When the Lid Stops Holding
Pushing an old hurt out of your mind kept you going for years; around forty, it often comes back. Here is why, and what the Greek myth of Chiron says about facing it.
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You Gave Past Your Limit. That’s Why You Resent Them.
You care for a parent every day, and on the drive home a hateful thought comes. Here is why giving more than you can turns care into resentment, and how to set a limit.